There's so much to talk about and philosophize around mindset that I could probably focus a whole microblog on the subject. I'm sure I'll revisit it several times in these check-ins, as there will probably be many topics that are revisited as time passes and the life journey evolves.
I wanna break down a section of the newsletter from Lindsey Wilson that I shared in yesterday's coffee check-in:
"But the magic comes in this: Which thought do you choose?
Every time I write, people unsubscribe.
OR
Every time I write, I inspire people.
One thought creates fear, hesitation, paralysis.
The other inspires creativity, service, love.
And I have the power to make that choice.
We all do.
I choose love.
Then I act.
Then I reap the rewards of all the love, support, community, and inspiration I receive back.
This is the power of one thought."
I remember throughout my young career and even in college, older adults telling me, "You have a choice," and I stubbornly, and rightly so, I might add, railed against this statement. I did not come from generational wealth, and while we didn't necessarily want growing up, my folks didn't make a ton of money. I've mentioned rationing food, especially in the summer, and when my folks wanted to pay down credit cards, it was a family effort of cutting back; and I often felt and experienced not having a choice.
I started babysitting regularly at 13 years old because I was growing so fast, my folks couldn't financially keep up with my clothing needs - and our budgets always included sales. Old Navy was a treat for the first day of school outfit, not our regular shopping excursion. Being able to buy my own clothes with the money I earned felt like I had a choice - I had choices.
In college, I was fortunate that friends of my folks started my sisters and me in the Florida Prepaid Program that my parents continued paying into; however, beyond tuition, everything else was on me, on us. I was fortunate to receive the Florida Bright Futures Scholarship (thanks to a teacher who took several days out of the year to ensure all her students in her classes apply to the scholarship and were registered to vote - we need more Mrs. Harrisons in the world). Despite all these advantages, I still worked full-time because I felt I had no choice if I didn't want to walk away with student debt. I wanted to study abroad, but there was no money coming from my parents or relatives, and I was a college student - I didn't make that much money.
I could go on and on, but I chose and have chosen survival over and over again. I've also chosen love and kindness, and hope. One job I had a number of years ago I absolutely hated. I experienced near-daily anxiety attacks, and I was diagnosed with PTSD not only from what my job entailed but the environment created by the management at this particular organization. Yet despite all this, I was scared to death of losing that job. We were barely getting by, had virtually no savings, and facing so many hardships and challenges in life. Isn't that incredibly sad? I give a big hug to my heart every day for surviving that time and being able to heal, grow, and evolve.
Being laid off has always been one of my biggest fears in life, as I'd equated it with the end of my career and success. So when I was laid off from the job I considered my best job yet, and a place I told many at the company where I'd be happy spending the rest of my career, I have to tell you, my reaction and mindset was a purposeful, positive choice that I didn't really think about. I was disappointed but accepting. This was out of my control, and I'd been in far worse places.
I chose love.
And I've been digging into how I went from being scared of losing a job I detested and nearly broke me to being laid off from a job I loved. It's taken a lot of work and reflection, but there are several factors that I know have been instrumental in the evolution of my mindset from survival, in essence, fear, to embracing more fully positivity and love.
Hope. Hope has been a mantra for me since my Endometriosis diagnosis, and I'll definitely share more about the importance of hope in my young adult life.
Choice. While I railed against my ability to have a choice in different scenarios growing up and as a young adult starting my career, I've learned that others' choice in hurting me is exactly that - their choice. And if I know I've done everything in my power to be a positive force and light and do what I can, whether at work or in my personal life, I have the choice to not spend energy being overly upset, hurt, or vindictive. There's nothing more I could do, and I have to concentrate on continuing to grow, evolving, and finding the right people and place that appreciates and values who I am.
Energy. I mentioned energy in talking about choice, and I believe in positive energy in conjunction with choosing love and positivity. We all bring energy to everything we do, and I want my energy to be positive both for myself and those around me. We all benefit from positive energy.
So I've been paying attention to what brings up emotion for me, whether negative or positive, and I try to take a moment to recognize it. Where is it coming from, and why? More on that tomorrow.
Finally adjusting to my new-old ADHD medication, so I'm back to my yummy Decaf Fortado this morning! Before I got the stand mixer, I found these delicious Gluten-free biscuits by Cappello's, so we made some up last night to have a few ready for our home version of egg, sausage (Beyond Meat!), and cheese biscuit for breakfast. I'm looking forward to making my own biscuits, but it's so nice to have options that taste like the "regular" versions. Besides the amazing gluten-free biscuits a friend made for us a few years ago, it's been a LONG time since I've had a GOOD or even decent biscuit.
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