Love and Loss - Saying Goodbye to Umish

Nearly two weeks ago now, my husband and I were hit with the sudden death of our 9-year-old Boston Terrier, Umish.

Umish always knew what he wanted!

As you can see, he had quite the personality and it filled every inch of where ever he went. That particular picture is from when we took him to get a new harness. A new Star Wars movie was coming out, so of course there was Star Wars everything, everywhere including the pet stores. Umish was particular in his toys, so while we didn't have much money, we tempted fate to see if he followed in his parents footsteps and was a true Star Wars fan. That little dog took Yoda from my grasp and happily paraded him around the store, holding onto to that plush master Jedi until we stopped at the check out counter, where he dropped it and looked up at me ready for me to purchase his new friend. Yes - we do have video of him parading around the store. My phone is filled with pictures and videos of him sleeping, snoring, playing with Chris and just being his sly, pitiful self. If I wasn't constantly petting him, he'd head over to Chris or someone else to get his attention and look back at me with a look that said, "See Ma? I don't need your love. Other people love me, too!" Of course he'd soon walk over to me and we'd snuggle, each of us knowing where our "home base" was.

Umish was my rock. I adopted him going into my senior year at Florida State. The spring semester of 2010 was rough; I took on a full load of classes and started a new job. One of the TA's for my public speaking class had been kidnapped and murdered, a close family friend's mother passed away and one of my best friends from elementary schools father suddenly died of a heart attack. I was spending a lot of time alone at my apartment, but my mom smartly wouldn't let me take my first Boston Terrier to live with me. Hamilton was 12 and aging fast. She didn't approve of me getting another dog on my own while still in college and working - but then she met Umish after I picked him up. And I quote,"That's not fair. That dog is killer cute." Yup.

This is from the day I picked him up in Appalachicola - took him straight to the beach to experience his home environment!

Me and Umish we're basically inseparable and he knew exactly who I was from the start. In fact when I picked him up the first time and held him to my chest, he wrapped his little paws around my neck - I was gone right there.

He endured me finishing college when I took full-time classes, worked full-time and also interned at a local news station at ungodly hours of the night. We moved far too many times and once were apart for three months as I tried to make my way in Atlanta.

But we made the most of it and had so much fun together. He loved walks - anywhere, anytime. OK - most of the time. He also loved naps and lots of snuggles. Umish was a giant love bug. He was an extension of me from the start - I had no problem telling someone no to plans cause they interfered with taking care of Umish. He was my child.

Chris learned this first hand when we started dating. Chris' grandfather has been on the board of the American Kennel Club for a long time and bred German Shepards for even longer, so Chris was very adamant about a dogs training - and where a dog should sleep. Apparently that was not in a human bed. Umish didn't start out sleeping in my bed, but morning snuggles morphed into anytime bed snuggles. Plus he was very good and jumping up in the middle of the night undetected - at least until he started snoring. The first time Chris watched Umish overnight, I was sure Chris and Umish would have a great time, but even I was surprised when the first picture Chris sent me was of the two of them snuggling on the bed. Didn't even last 6 hours before Umish broke him!

This is not the picture (will have to find it eventually), but pretty sure Umishs' face looked like this 😂

Chris and Umish became even closer after that weekend, which I was very happy about even though sometimes I felt like the third wheel! The three of us were a happy little family and Umish was there for Chris and my big moments - these were made possible by his approval of course.

This series of photos is from when Chris proposed. This pier has a backstory I will go into during another post I'm sure, but after a very stressful few weeks, Chris and I escaped down to my parents little house in Carrabelle. On the way we stopped at the pier for a view of the Gulf and the next thing I know I can't find Chris because he is down on one knee. After the crying and kissing and hugs we look around for Umish and this is what we found. "OK guys. Finally. Can we go now?"

That was later followed up by him stealing the show when we eloped!

One of my friends gave me a beautiful framed photo of Umish presiding over the ceremony - seriously y'all, his stance and demeanor scream, "Yes! I approve. Commence!" I'll have to get a digital copy to share because it's that good!

The last few years as Umish received his "senior" status from the vet, we tried to ignore it, but he definitely started to have a little salt and pepper speckling around his eyes. That was really his only sign of aging besides being over the heat and humidity of Florida as much as Chris and I have been lately.

Unfortunately, Umish developed a tooth infection late August and despite our immediate action, after his second dose of antibiotics he developed new issues. We were vigilant taking care of him and didn't spare any expense to make sure nothing else would occur. He finally received his teeth cleaning and had a few teeth removed at the end of September, and while he didn't snap back right away, he was doing OK. Suddenly, last Monday Umish stopped eating. By the time time I got home from work (I worked a late shift that night, so midnight), Chris was concerned despite him being OK a few hours earlier. At such a late hour there was nothing we could do, so we agreed to call the vet first thing in the morning, but by the time we woke up Umish was already gone.

We've been heartbroken all week - and honestly pretty mad with the vet. We expressed concern about his slow improvement, but during his one week post-procedure checkup the vet assured us she wasn't concerned and we shouldn't be either unless his random back issues didn't go away in about 4 weeks. So yeah - we were mad. This was not something we were expecting. Fortunately the vet is comping a necropsy. It will drag out the process of saying goodbye to our little man, but...2 months ago if someone had told me Umish would be dead, I would never have believed them. I would have bet everything against them. So while we're elongating our heartache, hopefully getting some answers will bring us some closure. We realize even after this they may not finding anything conclusive, but we'll truly be able to say we did everything in our power for our little man.

In the meantime - our apartment is too quiet. I swear Wednesday morning I heard the jingle of Umishs' collar while I drank my morning coffee. I've caught myself before saying goodbye to Umish as Chris and I leave our apartment. I've listened to Green Days 'Good Riddance' far too many times. Chris and I have cried to each other and in each others arms countless times. Luckily, I had a perfectly scheduled therapy appointment Wednesday morning, which helped immensely. But now as time passes our emotional healing will be put to the test as we figure out what to do with the bag and a half of dog food, 4 months of flea/heart-worm treatment we purchased, billing from the vet plan we signed up for that's a year commitment because we couldn't have anticipated this outcome and of course his countless toys no longer littering the living room.

We headed home this week to see my parent's and Chris' mom for the first time without Umish. I thought it would be my dad that would bring me to tears. He and Umish had a special bond - really, its hard not to find any of our family or friends that had a special bond with our little guy. But luckily I had a great conversation with him before we arrived home and by the time I saw him, I wasn't tearing up at the mention of Umish.

I've received comments and messages from all over the world after we posted on our social media accounts about Umish. From the east coast to the west coast and from my family in Alaska to a beautiful friend in Hong Kong, we received lovely messages, cards and memories that have truly filled our hearts with much needed love. One wonderful former colleague offered to throw in $50 towards Umishs' necropsy if I could find 10 others to do the same - that understanding for need of answers meant so much to me, but luckily as I mentioned before, the vet has comped that...now we just wait. I'm not sure how I will handle how we distribute telling all the wonderful friends who've checked in on what is happening, but I've decided to cross that bridge when we get there.

It's taken the best part of nearly two weeks to feel "normal" and we're moving forward because we have no other choice. We're making the best of what has happened - and I honestly hate saying that because it sounds and feels wrong, but we have to believe that there is something to gain from this. We've endured a great deal in our time together, but this is one of the biggest moments we've weathered together. BUT - we have weathered it together and that is the best way to honor Umish.

If you're one of the many friends and family who knew Umish and have reached out - Thank you. Your support and love has helped in our healing process. If this is you're first encounter with Umish - I gotta tell ya, ya missed out! But I hope his story and the love this little dog generated - and still generates - inspires you in some way.

Little Man,

I'll love you forever.